Hello! it's been a minute...
Man. I cannot begin to describe the level of overwhelm I am feeling at the moment. Why you ask? I've dedicated myself to independent self paced learning all there is to know about music business, music licensing, audio production and engineering, marketing, and on and on it goes..
Soo why am I hell bent on learning as much as I can about these subjects? KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
Granted, I've been doing this all as a hobby. But as I've gotten older, I've discovered that my aptitude for music composition is maturing at a rate and capacity that I never anticipated. I've noticed that I have an uncanny ability to quickly develop musical motives and harmonic contrapuntal melody lines in my head and can crank a composition in traditional verse-bridge-chorus format. The more I practice, the more confident I feel in my ability to write good music. Now, I'm beginning to think that I turn my hobby into a full fledged career. On top of that, I've developed an intuitive understanding of audio production and engineering and how to apply it to my own compositions to create a certain sound. Finally, everything is starting to click. This level of artistic development is all too exciting for me, except there's a dark cloud of doubt brewing the background and it feels soo overwhelming.
The overwhelm that I am referring to is the feeling that I am too far behind with regard to a proper education within the context of music business, audio production and engineering, marketing, and so on. The more I learn from the myriad of resources I have at my disposal, the more I feel like I have to catch up. For example, as I'm reading about music licensing and all that goes into it, I begin to panic thinking that I need to go back through my entire catalogue and implement the information that I am learning. Who has time to do all that? The same goes for learning music production and engineering, the more I learn about these subjects the more I get into my head about how I need to back track and fix my compositions to achieve a polished professional sound. I certainly don't have the luxury of spending all day every day practicing. Again, who has the time? See what I am putting down here, right? It's like a never ending spiral. The resistance that I feel towards the overwhelm is knowing that it's forcing me to grow. Growth is essential.
I'm 43 years old, shouldn't I know this shit by now or at least have a basic understanding of it? That's not an easy question to answer. Read on...
Everyone is on their own journey, our choices dictate our future. Some people lose themselves on their journey, veering off the path, getting caught up in distractions and vices that doesn't serve them in a positive way. I am one of those people, but I eventually came to and got my shit together later on in life. I guess you can say that I am a late bloomer in every aspect there is. Yes, I should have started all this at a younger age, but you know what? I didn't have the resources then as I do now. Thanks to social media and the advertising algorithms, I am now being exposed to the resources that I need in order to achieve my dreams as a successful commercial music artist. It's never too late to start. I constantly have to remind myself that it's not about the end product, it's about enjoying the journey.
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